Picture the scene, you the
parent ask your child to do something that you believe is reasonable. Your
child turns to you and says ‘why should I’? Because you are the parent, you
can’t believe your child is questioning your authority. You now start to get
angry at this child’s defiance and utter these words ‘Because I say so’ this
only falls on deaf ears and you now start to lose your temper. Now picture this
scene, you are at work and your manager asks you to do something that is not in
your job description, you may think ‘why should I do that’, hopefully they will
give you an explanation as to why you should do the said task. If no
explanation is fourth coming you may ask for one. Even then if you don’t
believe the task is reasonable you may question what is asked of you. Now
because you have flexible thought and can see into the future i.e. the consequences
of not doing as your manager wants. You may reluctantly comply. Why is an adult
allowed to seek clarification and yet a child is not? We could argue that
children aren’t supposed to question why, but if you have autism that just
doesn’t make any sense. Individuals can also struggle to see into the future so
the consequence of noncompliance does not occur to them. The best thing you can
do for child is when you ask them to do something to try and give a rational
explanation as to why they should do it, because I say so is not a rational
explanation. You may also have to motivate them to them to do something but we
will look at that at a later date. This also applies when you don’t want to do
something i.e. don’t do that it’s disgusting, is not a reason not to do it. For
some reason I was thinking of nose picking. You have to give them the rational
reason as to why not to do it i.e. Picking your nose is potentially dangerous for your
health. If you have a virus, fungus, or bacteria on your finger and you
pick your nose, the pathogens have found an easy way to enter your body.
Obviously you could use simpler language that your child can understand. So
remember try to not lose your temper when your children question why, give them
a logical reason as to why they should do something or not do something.
